The fantasy of independence

It’s humbling to remember: we go knocking all the time. Yes, there’s always someone we can help, but there’s always someone whose help we need. The worst thing that can happen in life is not putting your room—your life—on hold to help other people. The worst thing is when you’ve been so successful at ignoring the knocks that people stop knocking on... See more

The ease of technology has given us unrealistic expectations for our real lives. And in real life, someone or something will always come knocking on your door. You can let it drive you absolutely mad, or you can fling the door open and tell them how happy you are to see them.

By all means, do your work and decorate your room. You’ve been afforded t... See more

We’re not meant to be independent creatures, all alone. We’re meant to depend on each other. It’s an unsettling truth: the less we depend on each other, the more we depend on the market. We summon eggs to our apartment via an app instead of simply asking a neighbor. We hire a therapist—incapable of loving us back by design —and forget to call our f... See more

But, looking back, there wasn’t a single day I didn’t depend on others: an understanding colleague who told me it was ok to cry, a long-distance call with a dear friend, the countless small kindnesses of the baristas at my favorite coffee shop in the East Village. In the height of my so-called independence, I depended on everyone. Everything good i... See more