If a person is not in touch with his emotional self, he cannot meet emotional needs of others.

Real power comes from real choice.

HE can’t meet her emotional needs! Disillusionment sets in for her. This is not how the story goes. What about the happily ever after part? She begins to feel angry, cheated, ripped off. The storm begins to brew. The wife begins to criticize her partner or cry or hurt or yell.

To face the storm you must learn to respond to it rather than react to it.

She is only yelling to try to get the story to come out like it’s supposed to. She hates being treated like something big and bad because she’s still really just that little girl wanting to be taken care of by her partner.

And, by the way, no needs of his own.

We are programmed as children to act and feel a certain way toward certain stimuli. Those programs keep running without interruption until what I call our moment of awakening. Before that, we’re all just asleep letting our programming run our lives

Emotionally unavailable men were taught as children that there is NO WAY to negotiate the storm. Emotionally unavailable men were taught that they don’t have what it takes to make things different.

Either way, awakening is necessary. Why? Because a lot of the programming you got as a child was inaccurate. They lied to you. They gave you wrong data. It really wasn’t your job