Joan was raised to embody the qualities inherent in the Western code: self-reliance, optimism, not complaining, giving people space, and claiming your own.

So the Western code… “It’s not my code anymore. because I’m not self-reliant. It would be a useless code.”

We just had an offer from people in the ears.” He explained that people who work in Hollywood call executives at Disney “people in the ears”—because of the giant Mickey Mouse on top of the water tower at Disney studios. “You’d think they’d want to chop us off at the legs.”

After the wedding, John was still working at Time and when he left for the office, “I would be at a loss about how to organize my day,” she said. She’d feel lonely unless somebody else was in the house.

Joan said that if you’re writing about someone who’s not a public figure... “No matter how much you admire or like them, they don’t see themselves in exactly the same way you do. They aren’t used to being written about and will feel exposed or betrayed, and that’s just part of the given. It’s not true of public figures because they’re used to being

exclusionary

“It takes two people who are willing to put in the time,” she said. “You can’t do it by yourself. If I sensed anything about John when I first knew him, it was that he was willing to do that.”

do it to remind the reader to make certain connections. Technically it’s almost a chant. You could read it as an attempt to cast a spell.”

He paraphrased what Didion had once said about rhythm, that “the sounds of words and their rhythms carry a reality that the words themselves cannot convey.”