“God only knows what’s really going on—literally!”

Thus the dark night of the soul exists for the sole purpose of furthering love, a love that is partially realized in each experience of the dawn. In the last verse of his final poem, John writes of this awakening: How gently and lovingly you wake in my heart, where in secret you dwell alone; and in your sweet breathing, filled with good and glory,

To achieve satisfaction in everything, Desire it in nothing. To possess everything, Desire to have nothing. To be everything, Desire to be nothing. To know everything, Desire to know nothing.17

The actual experience may feel like delightful liberation or tragic bereavement, or it may happen so deeply that we are not aware of it at all. But one thing is certain: the process of freedom is one of subtraction—we are left more empty than when we began.

We cling to things, people, beliefs, and behaviors not because we love them, but because we are terrified of losing them.

Perhaps I’ve prayed sincerely and wholeheartedly for what I think is the experience of God, but God simply refuses to appear. Or worse, after having seemed to be present, God now goes into hiding.

Having lost the old willpower and its satisfactions, we desperately try to figure out where we have gone astray. “What’s happening here? Where have I gone wrong? Maybe my problem is this…No, maybe it’s that…Perhaps I should try this…Or that…I simply must be more diligent! Perhaps if I tried…” We make countless resolutions to be more disciplined in

Obviously and rightly, not everyone feels this way. As different as their personalities were, Teresa and John shared a spiritual style that not everyone is drawn to. Both were quick to affirm that other people may well be called to other ways. “God,” Teresa says, “does not lead everyone along the same path.”23

We do not understand that the changes we are experiencing are opening us to more free and complete love. Instead, our most common reaction is self-doubt. Because we assume we should be in charge of our spiritual lives, our first reaction is usually, “What am I doing wrong?” This self-doubt, combined with loss and confusion, explains why the passive