The Constant Restlessness You Feel Has a Name

heroic individualism: an ongoing game of one-upmanship, against both yourself and others, paired with the limiting belief that measurable achievement is the only arbiter of success. Even if you do a good job hiding it on the outside, with heroic individualism you chronically feel like you never quite reach the finish line that is lasting fulfillmen

Cultivating a strong and enduring sense of self means treating your life like a path. It requires that you do not become too attached to any period of “order” or to any specific route, which usually causes more harm than good and leads to all manner of missed opportunities.

happiness, fulfillment, well-being, and sustainable performance arise when you concentrate on being present in the process of living instead of obsessing over outcomes, and above all when you’re firmly grounded wherever you are.

What if you stopped trying so damn hard to be great all the time, stopped focusing on external results, and instead focused on laying down a solid foundation—a kind of groundedness that is not an outcome or a onetime event, but a way of being?