The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

Nines “merge” with others, but what does this mean? Merging happens when Nines “take in” the positions, feelings, and desires of another person to the point that they feel like they’re their own. They lose the boundaries between themselves and other people. This is especially easy for Nines because they usually don’t know what they want and can hav

In psychological terms, this “dimming of consciousness” expresses the fact that as a basic survival mechanism, the human psyche automatically “goes to sleep to,” or dissociates from painful experiences as a way of surviving or staying safe in the world.

Observe what happens when you need to act on something and you don’t. How are you distracting yourself ? What are you avoiding? Note what happens inside you when you have a decision to make. What do you get out of staying on the fence and not deciding? Note what happens when change happens or might happen, and any reactions you have.

When they were children, Nines may not have received the attention they needed, and their wishes and preferences typically weren’t listened to and acted upon.

Today I recognize my relationship to food is a compensation for a lack of feeling loved, and I’m learning how to give that love to myself rather than just eating.

It’s easier to erase yourself by losing yourself in comfortable activities than to reveal yourself or open yourself up to whatever unpredictable or complex thing might be happening in the outside world.

So practice giving feedback to people you trust—and let yourself start with something really small and work up from there. Work on owning your power and reminding yourself that you have the strength and the steadiness to handle whatever comes—and that conflict (or feedback) does not automatically lead to separation.

They can be especially gifted mediators; they naturally want to translate differing opinions so that everyone is heard and conflict in the group is avoided. They put a lot of energy into their work as a leader. They

indicates issues and themes from childhood that must be consciously acknowledged and owned so that we can move forward and not be held back by unfinished business from the past.