The Choice: Embrace the Possible

Survivors don’t have time to ask, “Why me?” For survivors, the only relevant question is, “What now?”

I learned two of my most important phrases in any therapeutic encounter: I hear you say… and Tell me more. I also learned how to read my patients’ body language and how to use my own body to communicate my unconditional love and acceptance. I don’t cross my arms or my legs—I open myself. I make eye contact, I lean forward, I create a bridge between

When you have something to prove, you aren’t free. Even though I didn’t yet know anything about his childhood during our first visit, I could tell that Emma’s father was living in a prison of his own making—he was living within a limited image of who he should be.

used to ask, Why me? Why did I survive? I have learned to ask a different question: Why not me? Standing on a stage surrounded by the next generation of freedom fighters, I could see in my conscious awareness something that is often elusive, often invisible: that to run away from the past or to fight against our present pain is to imprison ourselve

painful experiences aren’t a liability—they’re a gift. They give us perspective and meaning, an opportunity to find our unique purpose and our strength.

Time doesn’t heal. It’s what you do with the time. Healing is possible when we choose to take responsibility, when we choose to take risks, and finally, when we choose to release the wound, to let go of the past or the grief.

And to be free is to live in the present. If we are stuck in the past, saying, “If only I had gone there instead of here…” or “If only I had married someone else….” we are living in a prison of our own making. Likewise if we spend our time in the future, saying, “I won’t be happy until I graduate…” or “I won’t be happy until I find the right person

be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for

But you can choose how you live now. My precious, you can choose to be free.