The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

One of the main reasons we’re so affected by our negative thoughts is that we think our mind has an accurate grasp on reality, and that its conclusions are generally valid. This, however, is a fallacy. Our mind’s view of reality can be, and often is, completely distorted.

It’s worth learning how to handle uncertainty, not just because it increases charisma but also because the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity turns out to be one of the strongest predictors of success in business.

The act of committing things to writing has been shown to be critical both in changing a person’s mind 7 and in making imagined stories feel more real. 8 Write in the present tense: “The speech is going well…” Or, even better, in the past tense: “The speech was a complete triumph…”

what impacts people isn’t the words or content used. Rather, they remember how it felt to be speaking with you.

Artur Schnabel once said, “The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes—ah, that is where the art resides.”2

CHARISMATIC BEHAVIOR CAN be broken down into three core elements: presence, power, and warmth.

Attention is a precious resource, just like time and money. Anytime you ask people to listen to what you say or read what you’ve written, you’re asking them to spend both their time and their attention on you. You’re asking them to give you some of their resources. What are you giving them in return? Whenever people are asked to expend any of their

John Kenneth Galbraith, when “faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”1

To paraphrase Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of The Little Prince: perfection is not when there is no more to add, but when there is no more to subtract.