
The Boy Crisis

But while the changes in a dad’s brain do resemble those in a mom’s, the dad brain also drives contributions that are different from mom’s. For mom, it’s baby talk and staring into the baby’s eyes; for dad, it’s playful touching and behavior, physically moving the baby, and introducing the baby to new objects.34
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The best gift we can give a boy, to help him become self-actualized enough to feel free to choose to be either traditional or nontraditional, is a mom and dad devoted to the art and discipline of raising children together, even if that means living in separate, but nearby, homes. Once a family of four hits an income threshold where they can afford
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And that value kicks in early. Toddlers whose dads encouraged exploring (while setting limits) had better social and emotional skills twelve to eighteen months later.17
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
We have seen that the amount of time a father spends with a child is “one of the strongest predictors of empathy in adulthood.”6 Teaching a child to treat boundaries seriously teaches him or her to respect the needs of others.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
They have different ways of setting boundaries and enforcing boundaries; exploring in nature; roughhousing; creating teachable moments; challenging the kids’ limits; using hangout time; and different attitudes toward teasing. Researchers have also documented dads’ greater tendencies to • walk a fine line between safety and risk-taking; • juggle the
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Dads and moms both love their children deeply, but differently.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
In the traditional male hero’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is nowhere to be found—because the more he values himself, the less he is willing to sacrifice himself.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The boomer masculine hero grows by belittling others.
Dad deprivation still leaves boys vulnerable to Nazis—these days, neo-Nazi groups.