The Boy Crisis
In the traditional male hero’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is nowhere to be found—because the more he values himself, the less he is willing to sacrifice himself.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The boomer masculine hero grows by belittling others.
After dads’ tendency to tease, nothing creates more conflict between moms and dads than dads’ much greater propensity to roughhouse. Roughhousing often scares a mom, because her fear for her children’s safety is amplified by the appearance that dad is behaving like another kid, which mom translates as, “No one’s responsible here.” The solution
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Rather than his motto being “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” the motto for the evolved boy is “When the going gets tough, tune in to know when to tough it out.”
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
even when race, education, income, and other socioeconomic factors are equal, living without dad doubled a child’s chance of dropping out of high school.5
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The best gift we can give a boy, to help him become self-actualized enough to feel free to choose to be either traditional or nontraditional, is a mom and dad devoted to the art and discipline of raising children together, even if that means living in separate, but nearby, homes. Once a family of four hits an income threshold where they can afford
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As the workforce increasingly evolves from muscle to mental, and rote tasks are increasingly handled by robots or computers, humans will be increasingly required for our emotional intelligence and empathy.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Some reports about ISIS find that it is less akin to a religion and more akin to a gang.20 Why? ISIS fills many of the parameters sought by boys without dads: purpose, excitement, and identity.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Between quality childcare and longer parental leaves, the bigger contributor to a healthy and productive son is a longer parental leave.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
being an involved dad creates a “dad brain” that replaces his single-man desires. He’ll experience a decrease in the testosterone previously used in the hunt for sex and recovery after rejection, and an increase in oxytocin emanating from the joys of loving and being loved by an infant who needs him.