The Boy Crisis
The commerce of masculinity is the trading of wit-covered put-downs. Your son will experience it in junior high school. And he’ll experience it even more powerfully if he joins a fraternity. Despite the negative stereotypes, fraternity brothers often bond for a lifetime, sometimes becoming among the few long-lasting friends men have.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
After divorce or loss of a father, both girls and boys experience unhappiness, but especially with divorce, girls’ grief eases within a year or two, while boys’ does not.27
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Rather than his motto being “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” the motto for the evolved boy is “When the going gets tough, tune in to know when to tough it out.”
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
After dads’ tendency to tease, nothing creates more conflict between moms and dads than dads’ much greater propensity to roughhouse. Roughhousing often scares a mom, because her fear for her children’s safety is amplified by the appearance that dad is behaving like another kid, which mom translates as, “No one’s responsible here.” The solution begi
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Dads and moms both love their children deeply, but differently.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
They have different ways of setting boundaries and enforcing boundaries; exploring in nature; roughhousing; creating teachable moments; challenging the kids’ limits; using hangout time; and different attitudes toward teasing. Researchers have also documented dads’ greater tendencies to • walk a fine line between safety and risk-taking; • juggle the
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Item. A study of ISIS fighters concluded that almost all had in common “some type of an ‘absent father’ syndrome.”9
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
We have seen that the amount of time a father spends with a child is “one of the strongest predictors of empathy in adulthood.”6 Teaching a child to treat boundaries seriously teaches him or her to respect the needs of others.