The Boy Crisis
We want him to be assertive, but not aggressive; to be empathetic, but not naive; to be “a doer,” but also introspective; to be perseverant, but not stubborn; to be prepared, but not obsessive; to help people, but not enable them . . .
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Thats a lot to straddle!
But while the changes in a dad’s brain do resemble those in a mom’s, the dad brain also drives contributions that are different from mom’s. For mom, it’s baby talk and staring into the baby’s eyes; for dad, it’s playful touching and behavior, physically moving the baby, and introducing the baby to new objects.34
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
The best gift we can give a boy, to help him become self-actualized enough to feel free to choose to be either traditional or nontraditional, is a mom and dad devoted to the art and discipline of raising children together, even if that means living in separate, but nearby, homes. Once a family of four hits an income threshold where they can afford
... See moreJohn Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
even when race, education, income, and other socioeconomic factors are equal, living without dad doubled a child’s chance of dropping out of high school.5
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Dad deprivation still leaves boys vulnerable to Nazis—these days, neo-Nazi groups.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
moms cut back hours at work, while dads increase their hours, especially at nights and over weekends; moms travel less, dads travel more; moms commute fewer miles, accepting jobs that pay less, while dads commute more miles for jobs that pay more . . . This can create some fascinating discussions for family dinner night (see appendix B).
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
being an involved dad creates a “dad brain” that replaces his single-man desires. He’ll experience a decrease in the testosterone previously used in the hunt for sex and recovery after rejection, and an increase in oxytocin emanating from the joys of loving and being loved by an infant who needs him.
John Gray PhD • The Boy Crisis
Some reports about ISIS find that it is less akin to a religion and more akin to a gang.20 Why? ISIS fills many of the parameters sought by boys without dads: purpose, excitement, and identity.