To be ignored, to be forgotten, this was the worst sadness of all. I swore an oath to set down their accomplishments and praise their flourishings, no matter how small. I would be a chronicler of lost stories. It was exactly the kind of boldness Mother despised.

“A man’s holy of holies contains God’s laws, but inside a woman’s there are only longings.”

If Jesus actually did have a wife, and history unfolded exactly the way it has, then she would be the most silenced woman in history and the woman most in need of a voice. I’ve tried to give her one.

I would never tell him that our meeting in the cave that day was not by chance. I would not reveal I’d seen him there once before as he’d prayed. To the very end I would let him believe God’s hand was in our meeting. Who’s to say? Yaltha’s words remain with me—how can we know the ways of God?

“What most sets you apart is the spirit in you that rebels and persists. It isn’t the largeness in you that matters most, it’s your passion to bring it forth.”

I think every pain in this world wants to be witnessed, Tabitha.

It’s always a marvel when one’s pain doesn’t settle into bitterness, but brings forth kindness instead.”

“If Jesus had a wife, it would be recorded in the Bible,” someone explained to me. But would it? The invisibility and silencing of women were real things. Compared to men in Jewish and Christian Scriptures, women rarely have speaking parts, and they are not mentioned nearly as often. If they are referenced, they’re often unnamed.

wounded thing in us always finds a way,