The Autists: women on the spectrum

In her books, Weil describes the autist’s paradox: at the same time both longing for and shunning social life.

Chores are carried out by capable people. I wish I were capable.

To Weil, the sacred, the basis of human worth, the impersonal, is the human ability to suffer when experiencing bodily or spiritual harm. What remains is the trust of a child, the childlike core deep in every human heart that expects to be treated well, and thus protests when someone hurts it. That trust, that expectation of goodness, that part of

For a person with autism, the world is so unmanageable and the experience of a lack of control so overwhelming that they often cling to the minor aspects of their lives that they can control. Their food intake is one of them.

School is an artificial environment in which society has decided that children should be able to function. It’s loud, crowded, and unpredictable, and students with a neuropsychiatric diagnosis are often bullied. Refusing to go doesn’t appear all that strange. Why would anyone want to be part of such a setting?

Without knowing it, I was studying social interaction through the books, TV shows, plays, and films that I devoured.

Often, I haven’t even realised that I’m being perceived as unforgiving. Instead, I think I have just been clear, if perhaps expressing myself a little too forcefully in my eagerness to stress my point and make myself understood. But neurotypicals are so easily hurt.

Some doubt the power of fiction to touch us to the core and influence our feelings and behaviours. They have never seen an autistic girl watch the same episode of a tween show on repeat, memorising each line so she can speak to her friends in the schoolyard.

Autists are bad politicians and impossible diplomats.

I have always known that I’m autistic. And yet I haven’t had a clue.