The tool we developed is something I call the calibrated, or open-ended, question. What it does is remove aggression from conversations by acknowledging the other side openly, without resistance. In doing so, it lets you introduce ideas and requests without sounding pushy. It allows you to nudge.

Use “I” statements. Nobody likes being told what to do or that they’re wrong. Using “I” statements like, “I don’t agree with you and here’s why,” is much more effective than, “That’s a stupid idea.” Presenting an opinion as a fact creates defensiveness while owning our opinion prevents it from being toxic. For example, there’s a big difference