When he decides to learn the language of quality conversation, it will be like learning a foreign language.

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.

key ingredient in giving your spouse quality time is giving them focused attention,

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective.

Love says, “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me.”

Ask your spouse for a list of five activities that he would enjoy doing with you—don’t assume you know.

One way to share quality time at a distance is to include your spouse in your day as it is happening.

When you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities. You are in essence indicating that she has something or can do something that is meaningful and worthwhile to you. When, however, you make demands, you have become not a lover but a tyrant.