“Sometimes feedback that you believe is wrong, really is wrong. But sometimes it can uncover a blind spot in what you know about yourself. 4 And this is what makes you uncomfortable. So when you receive feedback that you think is wrong, work hard, through discussion, to communicate and understand where the other person is coming from. You can still... See more

When sometime tells them “You suck at Y” and they genuinely care about Y, they ask five additional follow-ups: “What have you seen me do that makes you think so?” “What do you think will help me improve in Y?” “Who is excellent at Y that I can learn from?” “How do you assess at Y?” “Why is Y important to be good at?”

It’s brutally hard to tell people when they are screwing up. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings; that’s because you’re not a sadist. You don’t want that person or the rest of the team to think you’re a jerk. Plus, you’ve been told since you learned to talk, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Now all of a... See more