And though projection gets a bad rap, psychotherapist David Richo writes that these products of the relational imagination “show us that other people are not out there as totally other. They are reflections/projections of our own story. They are part of us. They are not only ‘they’ . . . but also ‘I.’ ” And perhaps that’s why the intensity we feel

It’s tough to say which comes first, the boundaries or the self, but it’s safe to say that without a solid sense of self, we will find setting boundaries difficult.

When all the care or attention is being funneled toward one person, the caregiver is blocked from being seen or known. And I think that’s often rooted in an unconscious aversion to being seen, a deep-seated fear that intimacy is dangerous, and a sense that the things we need and want will betray us or reveal the ways in which we are too much, not

If you do ultimately determine that you want to address an issue with someone, it will be helpful to know what you’re feeling, where it comes from, and what you need. Even if it’s just to be seen and heard by someone you care about.

If you pull this card, why not take whatever you’re consulting the cards about and come up with an alternative ending where the best possible thing happens, instead of the worst. Instead of imagining an outcome you don’t like, substitute it for one that involves grace, compassion, and power.

behavior is defined as that which you can be seen doing.

In other words, the theme of resurrection is about letting go of or forgetting what will weigh us down on the path forward, in order to make space for the things that we do need, like clarity, lightness, and agility.

In making ourselves indispensable to someone, we might fool our hearts into believing that the person will never leave, or we divert attention from our own neuroses, which we fear are grounds for rejection.

so the aim of the World is not to identify sameness but to know the value of both this and that at once. It is plurality, diversity, space made for all.