How do you deal with your wandering attention? By practicing awareness and paying attention to paying attention. Your attention is trainable. Like a muscle, it gets stronger with use. Most of us haven’t gotten much experience in teaching our attention to stay focused, but we can all become more skilled at attending. As you train yourself to attend,

Sexuality is primarily a function of the older, more primitive parts of our brain. Sexual energy is animal energy and our animal selves live in the limbic system and old brain. Sex taps into ancient evolutionary machinery that resides, so to speak, in the cranial basement. You need to go down the brain elevator if you want to really get down sexual

Anxiety is just excitement without enough breath. This isn’t just a pleasing aphorism—it’s also true physiologically. The biochemical state of anxiety is literally the same as excitement, only with less oxygen. Which gives us a straightforward antidote to anxiety. When you’re feeling tense, simply deepen and slow your breathing. Use your whole ches

Pudendum is Latin for “shame,’ which makes the pudendal nerve the shame nerve. Perhaps someday we’ll shed ourselves of this anti-sex bias and rename it. Pudendum has also been used to refer to female genitalia. Talk about ‘the nerve!’

Gamma • Lacks research; hard to measure. • Super fast waves. • Hyper-alertness, integration. • Acute perception.

relationskills—which include having exquisite boundaries, exercising personal responsibility, treating oneself and others with respect, and communicating and negotiating skillfully.

The more deeply you’re into your own trance, the easier it is to attend to your playmate’s without a drop in your own erotic energy, achieving simultaneous parallel trances. Skilled partner sex involves a playful improv that balances mutual awareness and alternating attention.

Creativity is a type of learning process where the teacher and pupil are located in the same individual. ARTHUR KOESTLER

Here’s an example. Remember sphincter muscles, those round circular muscles that open and close? Well, all your voluntary sphincters at the top (in your mouth, throat and face) and the bottom (in your urinary, genital and anal equipment) are literally connected—they’re neurologically hard-wired together. If you want to open your bottom, allow your