Stop Walking on Eggshells

Some non-BPs think they are helpless in their relationship when, in actuality, they are feeling scared. Fear and anxiety are not the same as being helpless. Non-BPs are typically fearful that their efforts toward limit setting and change will be met with rage and anger. Therefore, in an effort to avoid negative reactions of BPs, non-BPs will descri

from the BP’s point of view, you’re the one with all the power. The BP can’t predict how you’re going to react to his behavior. Not knowing may make them feel even more unsafe and insecure than they usually do. Remember, to people with BPD, everything is “all or nothing.” If the dance stops, it stops forever.

see themselves as helpless victims of other people—even when their own behavior has affected the outcome of a particular situation

“I am extremely uncomfortable when you yell at me—especially when other people can hear. It makes me feel angry and helpless. I am asking you to stop this right now, so we can keep on having a good time at the party.”

Yet I know enough to realize that what happened to me doesn’t always happen in the case of all borderlines. Some BPs are unwilling to take the journey. Other borderlines are outright incapable of it. And thus I would never expect that everyone close to a borderline stay in the relationship. In some cases—perhaps many cases—it is necessary and wise

certain rights are fundamental to relationships, including: the right to emotional support, encouragement, and goodwill from the other the right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy and respect the right to have your own view even if the other has a different view the right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged

Emotional abuse is any behavior that is designed to control another person through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. It can include verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically we

decision-making stage Armed with knowledge and insight, non-BPs struggle to make decisions about the relationship. This stage can often take months or years. Non-BPs in this stage need to clearly understand their own values, beliefs, expectations, and assumptions.

Do I have the energy and fortitude to go against my family or other people who might be upset with my decision? Am I truly making my own decision, or am I doing what other people want me to do?