no-win situations Most family members we’ve interviewed say they feel like the person with BPD puts them in no-win situations.

Here are some adult examples of projection and projective identification: Your BP girlfriend accuses you again and again of not loving her and wanting to abandon her. For years, you try to get her to see that this isn’t true, but nothing works. Exhausted, you realize that the relationship is over and you need to get on with your life—thereby

Borderline rage is usually intense, unpredictable, and unaffected by logical argument. It is like a torrential flash flood, a sudden earthquake, or a bolt of lightning on a sunny day. And it can disappear as quickly as it appears.

feeling trapped and helpless

Some adults who enter into relationships with borderlines feel brainwashed by the BPs accusations and criticisms.

isolation The unpredictable behavior and moodiness of people with BPD can make friendships difficult. That’s because: Making excuses or covering up the borderline’s behavior can be so emotionally exhausting that some people find it’s not worth the effort to sustain friendships. Many non-BPs say that friends often suggest solutions that are

believe you don’t deserve to be treated badly

Yet I know enough to realize that what happened to me doesn’t always happen in the case of all borderlines. Some BPs are unwilling to take the journey. Other borderlines are outright incapable of it. And thus I would never expect that everyone close to a borderline stay in the relationship. In some cases—perhaps many cases—it is necessary and wise

If someone treats me badly, then I become bad.