Stop Walking on Eggshells

The reward for loyalty has been great—the same passion, the same beauty, the same wit that attracted me to her in the first place are all there. But the fear and confusion of BPD are gone.

When the BP is not agitated, you can pursue the issues even further than Cynthia was able to do with Jessie and attempt to clarify and even resolve issues. When engaging in this type of discussion with the BP, it is essential that when it is your turn to listen, you really listen. Here are some tips: Don’t think about what you are going to say. Do

“I will not discuss this further with you if you continue to yell and scream at me. I am willing to be supportive if you can calmly tell me what it is that you want or need.” Note that you’ve given the BP a choice and made it clear that his or her actions will be responsible for your temporary withdrawal. If the raging continues, immediately retrea

I think that borderlines are concerned with only one thing: losing love.

“I hear what you’re saying and understand that you think it’s all my fault. However, I see things differently. My firm position is that this kind of behavior toward me is unacceptable, and I want it to stop.”

It’s important that you don’t continue to ignore or accept rages.

situational competence Some people with BPD are competent and in control in some situations. For

Some reality statements will be factual (e.g., “When I said that I smelled something burning, I wasn’t commenting on your cooking. I was just noticing a burning odor”). Other reality statements will reflect your opinions (e.g., “I don’t believe that wanting to see a movie with friends is selfish. I think that even when two people are married, it’s

Verbal assaults: This includes reprimanding, humiliating, criticizing, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, and using sarcasm in a cutting way. It also involves exaggerating your faults and making fun of you in front of others. Over time, this type of abuse erodes your sense of self-confidence and self-worth.