Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Instead of thinking everything is “this way or that way,” come up with three more alternatives.

As the level of intimacy rises, so does the degree of the abandonment or engulfment issues, which results in more dramatic behaviors. This

consider how the relationship meets your needs

To Jessie (and other BPs), if an explanation feels right, it is right. Facts that don’t fit the BP’s theories may be denied or ignored.

The only thing that helps me get less angry is when my husband says to me, “I know you are scared, not angry” and gives me a hug.

situational competence Some people with BPD are competent and in control in some situations. For

Don’t judge the person’s feelings, deny them, trivialize them, or discuss whether or not you think they are “justified.”

When am I currently the most content: when I am with this person, when I am alone, or when I am with others?

For example, they accuse you of flirting with a salesclerk when you were just asking for directions to the shoe department.

no-win situations Most family members we’ve interviewed say they feel like the person with BPD puts them in no-win situations.