Short Cuts to Happiness: Life-Changing Lessons from My Barber

In the Bible we are commanded: “Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Today, we have some scientific evidence that indirectly backs up the connection that the Bible makes between honoring our parents, or the elderly in general, and longevity.

Aristotle pointed out that friendship and contemplation are the two pillars of a happy life. We are social animals and we are rational animals—we need friends, and we need to learn. Aristotle was so convinced of this truth that he founded a school of philosophy at the Lyceum, a place where people could cultivate friendships and learn new things at

“But you know,” he added, “even if the product takes off, I’m not leaving my salon. This is my lighthouse.” “Your lighthouse?” I asked. “Yes, like for ships. No matter how chaotic or wild things get, this place is always there, lighting the way back to stable shore. We all need a lighthouse in our life.”

There is much research on what psychologists call equity theory, which shows that most people have the need to reciprocate what they get from others; in fact, most of us feel discomfort when we’re unable to give back something of equal value. This applies to material things, like a gift or money, as well as to nonmaterial things like kindness or tr

Most parents believe, as I did for many years, that telling children that they are smart or beautiful or talented is a good thing. They think it will enhance their children’s self-esteem, success, and happiness. It turns out, though, that such praise hurts our kids more than it helps them.

Maria Montessori, who advised parents not to do things for children that they can do for themselves. Put differently, do for the children as little as possible and as much as necessary. If my child can tie her laces without help, then unless I’m extremely pressed for time, I have to let her do it on her own. If my child can prepare a whole meal, or

When we lose our mind—our thinking brain—even temporarily, we make space for our soul, our emotions, to flourish. We experience the world directly, without interrupting thoughts.

he always focused on their effort and hard work rather than on how talented or successful they were:

Life changes, and when life changes the rules change, and when the rules change we need to write a new rule book. Today, be mindful: Maybe your life has changed, and only you haven’t?