“Some of the equipment in the shop would be difficult for you to use,” he told her. “And to be honest, Miss Walker, having a girl like you in the classroom would be very distracting to the boys in the class.” He meant it as a compliment, she knew. But she also knew that it wasn’t.

I even started to wonder whether men and women considered each other friends, or if we automatically compartmentalized our relationships: We’re either lovers or we’re platonic friends, but not both. Truth be told, the comments I heard made me wonder—despite all the emphatic “I love men” and “I love women” declarations—whether men and women really e

Even when a woman negotiates successfully for herself, she can pay a longer-term cost in goodwill and future advancement.18