Both Tibetan Buddhism and cognitive therapy challenge distorted thinking and extreme beliefs, especially those all-or-nothing thoughts that make us feel inadequate or unworthy.

They recognized that people were feeling bad because their nervous systems were overworked.

Don’t forget that your vitality comes from thinking up ideas, whether simple or profound, and then seeing them through start to finish. Anyone who tries to help by taking over or by making unsolicited suggestions, even a parent or spouse, just doesn’t understand that the excitement lies in the autonomy of action, not just in getting the thing done.

If you dreaded school, you were told it was good for you. If you dreaded a task, you were informed it would make you a better person. Now, as an adult, if you dread doing something, you might tell yourself you are being weak.

The next time it speaks, notice what its values are. For instance, if it keeps berating you for making an error, it is espousing the value that people should be mercilessly punished for being fallible. Now ask yourself if that is in accordance with your values. Would you treat another person that way? Is it one of your cherished values that we

That would be the one-sentence draconian rule that your guilt or low self-esteem is based on. It might be that people must always love their families or that parents are always strong and right. It might tell you something like self-interest is bad, but success is good. (Just try to make that combination work.) You will see that these sweeping

If you see something potentially dangerous, 100 percent of your focus will rivet to that thing. Time will stand still as tunnel vision takes over.

Emotions have one purpose in your life: to make you pay attention to vital information about your situation. If you don’t listen to them, they will raise the volume.

If you’re feeling antsy, it’s time to take a break. If you’re lonely, maybe it’s time to call someone and tell them just that. If you’re feeling empty, maybe you need time with your emotional or spiritual self. Giving kindness to what you are feeling will fill you up. Don’t keep pushing until the only thing you’re looking forward to is that entire