Freely exaggerate your empathic responses, reflecting their emotional distress fully. Extroverts in pain desperately want to unburden themselves into your receptive heart. Even if they are saying crazy things, extroverts are just trying to communicate the emotion as vividly as possible. To comfort them, listen with your heart—not your mind—to

When you try to cover over mean and belittling behavior by calling the person “nice,” “good,” or “well-meaning,” it hurts your self-esteem. It’s a variation on the theme of saying that they did not mean to do it. Okay, but seeing it that way means that you may also have to conclude that you are overly sensitive or neurotic for being affected so str

David had to say to Michelangelo once he was

The loud, insistent ego voice pushes and tires you, never letting up on what you should be doing next. Listening to it makes you feel stressed. (“There is so much to do! I should try harder!

Our many responsibilities can make us feel important: our sense of urgency gives our life a certain meaningfulness as we push ourselves to get everything done.

Ask yourself just who it was in your life that enjoyed archery so much. EI parents often carry quivers filled with debasing comments to shoot at you. Low self-esteem is exactly like going through life with a head full of their arrows. You cannot think without running into those internalized, sharp, piercing arrowheads. Injuries to self-esteem come

If you’re feeling antsy, it’s time to take a break. If you’re lonely, maybe it’s time to call someone and tell them just that. If you’re feeling empty, maybe you need time with your emotional or spiritual self. Giving kindness to what you are feeling will fill you up. Don’t keep pushing until the only thing you’re looking forward to is that entire

This leads to the binge—the shopping, the impulse purchase, the two or three glasses of wine at the end of the day. It is as if you are saying to yourself, “I can’t give you a day off or even an hour of doing what you want—nor can I let you take a break or daydream—but I can give you a treat the next chance we get.” You feel like you deserve it aft

Sometimes the point of a problem is to walk away from it, not solve it.