Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

By seeing their behavior not as punishment but rather as their limited communication skills, you can refuse the guilt.

When you try to cover over mean and belittling behavior by calling the person “nice,” “good,” or “well-meaning,” it hurts your self-esteem. It’s a variation on the theme of saying that they did not mean to do it. Okay, but seeing it that way means that you may also have to conclude that you are overly sensitive or neurotic for being affected so str

Nobody is reading it but you. Be illogical, desperate, but truthful. What is your worst fear about the situation? What do you secretly wish you could do? What does this horrible, terrible situation remind you of? How are you feeling about yourself? Why? What are you seeing that you have not let yourself admit? Once you know the deeper essentials, y

When you are getting nowhere with your actions, it may be because you don’t know what is really upsetting you. When you take action before you know your true feelings, your blind reactions create mayhem around you. Now you have a second problem to deal with caused by reacting impulsively to the first problem!

Small children always need to express their hurt feelings and fears before they can be truly comforted. Blurting it out is the first step toward solving any emotional dilemma. If we can do that, even on paper, it speeds up solution-finding—much

You think that everything must be learned through your rational, logical brain and that nothing worthwhile is produced from just enjoying calmness on a daily basis. But in fact, this steady peacefulness is how all of natural life was formed:

Nature’s rampant individuality reflects and intensifies the experience of your own true being. You feel more alive in nature because you sense your value in the grand scheme of things. You find yourself taking on a wider perspective that calms and strengthens. For instance, standing in a grove of trees is like finding yourself among a remarkable gr

However, if you as an adult are trying to make positive changes in your life, then you must notice and take time to feel good about even your smallest successes. To do so is just as important as figuring out what you wanted to change in the first place. You encourage yourself to grow, taking pleasure in your progress. The pleasure you feel tells th

you might tell yourself not to get a swelled head. Even worse, you may tell yourself that because you feel so good, something bad might happen, just to even things out. The brain then puts the brakes on that new outlook or behavior because your mind senses anxiety, not pleasure.