Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts: Nine Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Remarry

“I said I was sorry for what I did,” one of them would say. “Now why can’t you forget about it and move on?” This form of apology is really a tool of manipulation, a way of getting off the hook and avoiding the real issue. What’s worse, a premature apology blocks real change.

The key to personal warmth is acceptance. Rather than evaluating or requiring change, you simply accept the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the person you love.

“A marriage can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in that partnership,”

Communication is not what you say, but what your partner understands by what you say.

Warmth is not a carte blanche approval of anything your spouse does, nor is it a kind of smothering sentimentality of contrived emotion. Warmth invites your partner to be who she is, relaxed, free, and at peace. It bolsters her confidence and keeps her from contorting her personality into what she thinks you want it to be.

(1) What does this situation, problem, or event look or feel like from my partner’s perspective? and (2) How is his or her

perception different from mine?