S.G. Goodman On The Continuous Process Of Coming Out

I felt accepted by my friends and a community of artists, but that acceptance felt conditional on continuing to “do X” or “be into Y.”

When I allowed my language and my views to change—informed by wanting to be a better friend, colleague, partner, community member for the people around me—I could feel my heart start to change, too. I wondered (in typical white, neoliberal fashion) why it was so hard for people to embrace complexity rather than conforming to binary ways of thought.

If you write to please others, you are selling out. You are in the process of audience capture. This way of talking, which is how the fear in me talks, is common—as if writing for an audience and writing for yourself are at odds with each other. I really used to feel like that.

But I no longer think that it is quite right. The relationship between c... See more