Radical self-inquiry is how we learn to become more of ourselves, more like ourselves, more authentic. More human. And better humans are better leaders.

When I was a boy, I wasn’t often seen.

The magic, the alchemy, occurs when what we do mixes with who we are and is cooked by the heat of what we believe.

Learning to lead ourselves is hard because in the pursuit of love, safety, and belonging, we lose sight of our basic goodness and twist ourselves into what we think others want us to be. We move away from the source of our strengths—our core beliefs, the values we hold dear, the hard-earned wisdom of life—and toward an imagined playbook listing the

Keep opening. Stand still. Keep opening and stand still. Open up, get curious, and inquire within.

I’d feel seen not for being good—quiet, compliant, a “good boy”—but for being me—a good person who was also smart and skillful.

Early promotion into adulthood is often painful

the higher up the pole the monkey climbs, the more his ass shows.”

Success and money—and even more important, the busyness needed to create those—became proof of my worth as a human.