done. Even a household or neighborhood has a culture. If you want better communication between two or more people, then creating a regular cadence of specialized touchpoints—meetings and tools—is one way to improve it. In our marriage, we schedule monthly “money and planning” meetings in which we use AIM to guide us. Working agreements are often

Try to be as specific as possible. It can be helpful to create a visualization of what you want: “I’m on stage at TED talking about the success of our project.” “I am in a beautiful café on the Amalfi Coast with my spouse, sipping champagne and celebrating my raise.” “We are all in a meeting with the CEO and her team being asked our opinion on a

happen? What will you get out of it? How will your relationship be after this meeting?). Going into important or high-stakes conversations brings up emotions, and you might not show up as your best, most confident self without structured preplanning. Writing down your intentions, concerns, boundaries, and dreams and having your notes in front of

Couples and families can even become what psychologists call conflict habituated, a state in which every interaction is approached as a battle for dominance rather than an opportunity for connection and realness.

The first behavior that predicted a high-performing team was equal speaking time among team members. If

You can think of boundaries as design criteria for a shared experience. Designers will tell you that constraints are needed to generate creativity and that no good design happens without them. As you discuss each team member’s personal boundaries, you articulate what the team needs to be at its best. It is kind to share your boundaries with others

Dreams are your goals combined with heart, action, and humanity. Sharing them

An opportunity for negotiation and mitigation: This middle ground is the most challenging place to end a conversation. Here, you not only have an understanding (hopefully shared) that everyone is not 100 percent aligned but also a sense that there is room to improve your plan and meet everyone’s

The core idea is that when embarking on a new experience (couples moving in together, sales negotiations, asking for a raise, vacation planning, and more), we examine together our individual intentions (our personal why, which is connected to our values), concerns (things we fear might keep this experience from going well), boundaries (our personal