Radical Acceptance

the comfort of feeling spacious might tempt me to avoid feeling the unpleasantness of my immediate experience. Being genuinely awake in the midst of fear requires the willingness to actively contact the sensations of fear. This intentional way of engaging with fear I call “leaning into fear.”

Facing fear is a lifelong training in letting go of all we cling to—it is a training in how to die.

The simple action of having named the anxiety building before my talk opens my awareness. Anxiety may still be present, but the care and wakefulness I cultivate through noting allows me to feel more at home with myself.

As you go through your day, pause occasionally to ask yourself, “This moment, do I accept myself just as I am?” Without judging yourself, simply become aware of how you are relating to your body, emotions, thoughts and behaviors. As the trance of unworthiness becomes conscious, it begins to lose its power over our lives.

Caught in the trance of unworthiness, our desires fixate on soothing, once and for all, our anxiety about imperfection. We strive to tie up all the loose ends and to avoid making mistakes, even though we know both are impossible. We want to feel “good enough” all the time in our work, parenting, relationships, health, appearance, and life. We want

The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that we are truly loved.

But by disrupting our habitual behaviors, we open to the possibility of new and creative ways of responding to our wants and fears.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

This means accepting our human existence and all of life as it is. Imperfection is not our personal problem—it is a natural part of existing.