By becoming conscious of how we became who we are, we can wake up to the unfolding story of our own lives and see ourselves in a developmental framework.

Self-generation can be described as a cycle of four components: self-observation, realization, reorganization, and stabilization.

Asking questions about our client’s cognitive, somatic, or emotional experience invites her into the present moment.

see that this habit is just something that happens, not as fundamentally who she is.

use the process in Appendix B

Holding the field provides an environment in which the client is more likely to let go of the conditioned tendencies that restrict the choices she is able to see and act on.

As leaders, we tend to move to the level of our training, of our practice. It’s not cerebral knowledge of what we should do that drives our actions in a crunch situation; it’s what we’ve embodied through practice and repetition.8 When we practice a habit, that’s what we come, more and more, to embody. When we practice a new behavior, first it becom

Spotlight Habits in Real Time It is important to normalize these observations. A reaction may be strong, even overwhelming. By seeing it as a simple phenomenon, by observing and distancing ourselves from it, we learn to work with it rather than being hijacked by it. Naming it as a habit is the first move in this. COACH: That’s great. You’re noticin

let me interrupt you for a minute. I want you to place yourself in the future. You’re describing it in the conditional. Listen to the difference: “I would have” is tentative and dependent on some possible event. Try, “I used that incident with Gary to . . .” Hear the difference? Place yourself in the perspective that it already happened. The coach