A shot at the doctor's office or a spanking from Mom or Dad are only two of the thousands of childhood injuries and insults that need emotional healing. None of us gets all of our needs perfectly met; none of us escapes childhood without insult or injury. And that's not all. Besides the big traumas and little upsets, children also need to process t

Just as Playful Parenting provides the key for helping children unlock the tower of isolation, engaging playfully with children also helps them build the confidence it takes to step out of the tower of powerlessness.

Sometimes, of course, the child does not need a playful approach; he just needs a lap to crawl into so he can cry about how much the shot hurt.

Many parents tell me, “I could never be as goofy as you.” I am not sure whether to take this as a compliment or an insult, but either way, it just takes practice. Contrary to what my daughter might tell you, I had to train myself to be as goofy as I am today. I had to get over my shyness and embarrassment about playing on the climbing structure wit

It took me way too long to figure out that nagging wasn't ever going to help. Finally, out of desperation more than cleverness, I picked up two of her dolls and I made one of them say (in a nasty voice), “Oh, she can't get dressed by herself; she doesn't know how to get dressed by herself.” Then I made the other one say (in a cheerfully encouraging

Play is also a way to be close and, even more important, a way to reconnect after closeness has been severed. Chimpanzees like to tickle one another's palms, especially after they have had a fight. Thus, the second purpose of play serves our incredible—almost bottomless—need for attachment and affection and closeness. The third purpose of play for

Play is where children show us the inner feelings and experiences that they can't or won't talk about. We need to hear what they have to say, and they need to share it. That's why we have to join children where they live, on their terms. Children don't say, “I had a hard day at school today; can I talk to you about it?” They say, “Will you play wit

If chimpanzees and five-year-olds do it, then I think we can agree that using play to reconnect is a pretty basic idea. But sometimes children do not connect or reconnect so easily. They may feel so isolated that they retreat into a corner, or come out aggressively with both arms swinging. They may be annoying, obnoxious, or downright infuriating a

After just a few times playing this game, getting dressed on her own became a habit, and I didn't have to spend every morning making up doll dialogue. Once in a while after that, instead of being pokey and driving me nuts, she would say, “Come in and be those people saying I can't get dressed.” Playfulness turned a time that used to be full of frus