Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence

She comes home, and what game does she want to play? Doctor, of course. And who does she want to be? The doctor or nurse, the giver of the shot—definitely not the patient. And who does she want to give it to? Well, her first choice is a parent or another adult. If no one is available, she might use a stuffed animal or doll. And how does she want th

Play is where children show us the inner feelings and experiences that they can't or won't talk about. We need to hear what they have to say, and they need to share it. That's why we have to join children where they live, on their terms. Children don't say, “I had a hard day at school today; can I talk to you about it?” They say, “Will you play wit

A shot at the doctor's office or a spanking from Mom or Dad are only two of the thousands of childhood injuries and insults that need emotional healing. None of us gets all of our needs perfectly met; none of us escapes childhood without insult or injury. And that's not all. Besides the big traumas and little upsets, children also need to process t

Children who are frustrated too much, or are unable to use play to master their world, retreat into what I call the tower of powerlessness.

It took me way too long to figure out that nagging wasn't ever going to help. Finally, out of desperation more than cleverness, I picked up two of her dolls and I made one of them say (in a nasty voice), “Oh, she can't get dressed by herself; she doesn't know how to get dressed by herself.” Then I made the other one say (in a cheerfully encouraging

Some children—those who are really hurting badly—spend most of their time feeling isolated and powerless, and little or no time playing freely. But even the healthiest, best-loved children will retreat into these two fortresses when they feel scared, overwhelmed, or abandoned.

Playful Parenting helps with the toughest aspects of parenting: tantruming toddlers, biting preschoolers, anxious third-graders, out-of-control preteens. Playfulness resolves our battles over getting dressed and ready in the morning, soothes our frazzled nerves at the end of a long day, and restores family harmony. Playful Parenting offers a hand e

Play is also a way to be close and, even more important, a way to reconnect after closeness has been severed. Chimpanzees like to tickle one another's palms, especially after they have had a fight. Thus, the second purpose of play serves our incredible—almost bottomless—need for attachment and affection and closeness. The third purpose of play for

While adult therapy tends to cast parents as the villains, I started to see what a powerful positive force they can be in their children's lives. And the single most important skill parents could acquire, it seemed to me, was playing. Fortunately, unlike many personality changes we might like to make, better playing skills can be learned pretty eas