Play provides freedom from time. When we are fully engaged in play, we lose a sense of the passage of time. We also experience diminished consciousness of self. We stop worrying about whether we look good or awkward, smart or stupid. We stop thinking about the fact that we are thinking. In imaginative play, we can even be a different self. We are

EACH OF THESE PEOPLE, Barbara, Jason, and Mark, is an example of the critical fact that the opposite of play is not work—the opposite of play is depression. Our inherent need for variety and challenge can be buried by an overwhelming sense of responsibility. Over the long haul, when these spice-of-life elements are missing, what is left is a dulled

Little Leo is a cherub. At eighteen months, he is bursting with glee and laughter. He clearly and exuberantly loves who he is. His true feelings are written in his every move, unmistakable in his body actions, voice, and expressions. He is fully “here,” and the contagion of his joy sweeps his parents and those he meets into a shared state of

We need the sense of discovery and liveliness that it provides.

Part of the joy and pain of being a parent is seeing our own parents in ourselves, seeing their good parts and flaws repeated in our voices. The joys and pains also come from seeing ourselves in our kids, and remembering our own happy days and hurtful traumas reflected in their experiences. If we are not completely full of ourselves or too serious,

We grow out of childhood and leave behind “childish things.” We feel that we shouldn’t act this way anymore, and get a sort of willful amnesia for pure play experiences. Seeing a child like Leo reminds us of the joy we may be leaving behind. I talk a lot about play in children, but it’s interesting to me that the focus of the conversation often

Another hallmark of play is that it has improvisational potential. We aren’t locked into a rigid way of doing things. We are open to serendipity, to chance. We are willing to include seemingly irrelevant elements into our play. The act of play itself may be outside of “normal” activities. The result is that we stumble upon new behaviors, thoughts,

These properties are what make play, for me, the essence of freedom. The things that most tie you down or constrain you—the need to be practical, to follow established rules, to please others, to make good use of time, all wrapped up in a self-conscious guilt—are eliminated. Play is its own reward, its own reason for being.

On that day, Jake gave a compact demonstration of what years of academic and clinical research has taught me about the power of play. Most obviously, it is intensely pleasurable. It energizes us and enlivens us. It eases our burdens. It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities.