Philosopher Martha Nussbaum on Anger, Forgiveness, the Emotional Machinery of Trust, and the Only Fruitful Response to Betrayal in Intimate Relationships

Anger is transformative, and it is often the peak state we reach before we truly change our lives. This is because anger is not intended to be projected onto someone else; rather, it’s an influx of motivation that helps us change what we need to change within our lives. When we do not see it as such, we tend to bury it, not ever resolving the real

If we are comfortable with and can embody the emotion of anger, then we have no need (or very rare need) to act violently. We will sense when our boundaries are being threatened far earlier and trust ourselves to communicate that and/or adjust our situation to mitigate that threat.

Observe when you’re angry—anger is a loss of control over the situation. Anger is a contract you make with yourself to be in physical and mental and emotional turmoil until reality changes. [1]

anger is a loss of control over the situation. Anger is a contract you make with yourself to be in physical and mental and emotional turmoil until reality changes. [1]

As free speech activist and writer Soraya Chemaly has said, “Anger … is actually a signal emotion: It warns us of indignity, threat, insult, and harm.” When an interaction, person, or experience makes us angry, our bodies and minds are effectively having an emotional “immune” response.

Responsible anger requires a high degree of emotional maturity and self-control.83

But a terrible thing is severed in the suppression of anger: your relationship with one of your greatest allies. Anger appears on your doorstep when your heart has been offended, your values have been wronged, your beloveds are threatened, or somewhere, justice has been denied.

Some folks seem to think that an inability to feel and act on anger is a virtue. It isn