Psychologists call this innate approach motivated reasoning. Instead of beginning with the evidence and then proceeding toward a conclusion, motivated reasoning is post hoc; it starts with a conclusion and then searches out evidence to support that conclusion.

if you can’t answer this question, you need to analyze very seriously why you have this belief to begin with, because it may be based solely on dogma, which is fundamentally incompatible with persuadability.

The problem of failing to ask for feedback is not unique to therapists; it’s common among all kinds of people. Just think about the number of people you have personal or professional relationships with: friends, landscapers, dentists, mailmen, spouses, bosses. Now, how often do any one of them regularly ask you, “How am I doing?” in an authentic wa

people in tribes, when left unchecked, often develop extreme views and become wildly overconfident that these views are true.

Anytime you feel yourself getting passionate in response to information, it’s possible you’re being led astray by the confirmation bias. That is the time to intentionally consider the opposite. Wait until the emotion dies down if you have to.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”

“If you’re building a brand you have to listen to the critics, and we have.”31

for any idea to be adopted by the majority of society, it must cross the chasm—meaning it needs to be embraced by the early majority. But in order for the early majority to adopt an idea, a few brave souls have to go first.

consider going one step further, and beyond changing your own mind, focus on actively persuading those with whom we have the most influence—our own tribes.