Personality Isn't Permanent

If you were to lose a person you love, you wouldn’t just lose that person but also the person you were when with them. All loss includes a loss of yourself. And conversely, meeting new people or entering new relationships leads to the creation of a new self.

Although the culture is rapidly changing, there are still similar patterns. By the time a person reaches their thirties, they stop having as many “first” experiences.

Whatever you think of him, Elon Musk is focused on where he is going as a person, and it’s entirely in his future, not his past. His attention, energy, and narrative are based on the future he’s creating. You don’t hear him talking about “the PayPal days.” You don’t see him limited by what he’s previously done or failed at. You don’t even hear him ... See more

In an interview on Inside Quest, author and leadership expert Simon Sinek explained that Millennials are never satisfied in their work in part because they were raised to believe they should have anything they want, not because they earned it but simply because they want it. They were given trophies without winning. They were raised on technology a... See more

The most fundamental aspect of your humanity is your ability to make choices and stand by those choices, what Viktor Frankl called the last of human freedoms, “To choose one’s own way.” Choosing your own way has at least two key meanings: making decisions about what you want to happen and choosing how you respond to what does happen.

Indefinite attitudes to the future explain what’s most dysfunctional in our world today. Process trumps substance: when people lack concrete plans to carry out, they use formal rules to assemble a portfolio of various options. This describes Americans today. In middle school, we’re encouraged to start hoarding “extracurricular activities.” In high ... See more

Life starts taking on a whole new meaning when you begin thinking right now what your future self will want. Rather than making decisions based on your current identity, you could begin making decisions your future self would love and appreciate.

In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig wrote, “Steel can be any shape you want if you are skilled enough, and any shape but the one you want if you are not.” In this book, you’re going to learn how personality is shaped, and how you yourself can and should be its shaper. You’ll learn to be the architect and blacksmith of your p... See more

Those who had arrived using canes, and dependent on the help of their children, left the building under their own power and carrying their own suitcases. By expecting these men to function independently and engaging with them as individuals rather than “old people,” Langer and her students gave them “an opportunity to see themselves differently,” w... See more