Personality Isn't Permanent

If you were to lose a person you love, you wouldn’t just lose that person but also the person you were when with them. All loss includes a loss of yourself. And conversely, meeting new people or entering new relationships leads to the creation of a new self.

Becoming psychologically flexible is key to personal transformation, not overattaching to your current identity or perspectives. Becoming insatiably committed to a future purpose and embracing emotions rather than avoiding them is how radical change occurs.

An obvious way to see that our personality has changed over time is how we respond to our previous decisions. People often remove tattoos their former selves thought were a good idea. People divorce partners their former selves assumed they’d always love. People work hard to lose belly fat their former selves had no problem eating to gain. People q... See more

Emotions are chemical, and our body becomes accustomed or habituated to these chemicals. Take dopamine, for example. Your body becomes habituated to a certain dosage of dopamine, and when the chemical levels are low, the body literally needs more. As a result, and without conscious thought, your hand reaches for your smartphone, and you go through ... See more

Your personality is an effect, not a cause. The primary causes shaping your personality are your goals and the identity and behavior that flow from those goals. For most people, personality is a reaction to life events, circumstances, and social pressures. It isn’t intentionally designed. It isn’t questioned. It isn’t chosen.

In order to create an environment that shields you from the distractions in this world, you need to know what you want. You need to know what you stand for. You need to have rules and systems that stop you from finding yourself in a mire of filth or the daze of endless opportunity.

In order to become a new person, you must have a new goal— a purpose worth pursuing. Your goal is the reason you develop new attributes and skills, and have curated transformational experiences. Without a meaningful goal, attempting change lacks meaning, requires unsustainable willpower, and ultimately leads to failure.

Going to bed one hour earlier than your norm is one of the fastest ways to becoming your future self. You avoid wasteful consumption. You get more rest. You enable yourself to wake up earlier and get to work on your goals before the busyness of the day takes hold.

Creating meaning is fundamental to who we are and who we become. Our personality, in large part, is based on the meaning we’ve placed on former experiences. It’s based on the meaning we give to various goals or values. It’s based on what we focus on. Our personality is even based on the meaning we place on small things, like humor or music or style... See more