Personality Isn't Permanent

Those who had arrived using canes, and dependent on the help of their children, left the building under their own power and carrying their own suitcases. By expecting these men to function independently and engaging with them as individuals rather than “old people,” Langer and her students gave them “an opportunity to see themselves differently,” w... See more

The truth about personality is that it can, should, and does change. Your goals shape your identity. Your identity shapes your actions. And your actions shape who you are and who you’re becoming. This is how personality is developed.

All growth toward big goals and important work is emotionally taxing. Don’t go it alone. Have a team you can huddle around when you’re fried, torn, burned out, scared, or broken.

Emotions are chemical, and our body becomes accustomed or habituated to these chemicals. Take dopamine, for example. Your body becomes habituated to a certain dosage of dopamine, and when the chemical levels are low, the body literally needs more. As a result, and without conscious thought, your hand reaches for your smartphone, and you go through ... See more

Confidence is key to the goals you set as a person. The greater your confidence, the more powerful your goals. Your confidence is something you must protect. You earn your confidence through intentional action toward meaningful goals. You can only borrow so much confidence from the distant past. More so, your confidence is based on who you’ve recen... See more

Whatever you think of him, Elon Musk is focused on where he is going as a person, and it’s entirely in his future, not his past. His attention, energy, and narrative are based on the future he’s creating. You don’t hear him talking about “the PayPal days.” You don’t see him limited by what he’s previously done or failed at. You don’t even hear him ... See more

Although the culture is rapidly changing, there are still similar patterns. By the time a person reaches their thirties, they stop having as many “first” experiences.

As the British philosopher Alain de Botton said, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed by who they were twelve months ago isn’t learning enough.”

The argument of this book is that your “personality” doesn’t matter. Even more, your personality is not the most fundamental aspect of who you are. Instead, your personality is surface-level, transitory, and a by-product of something much deeper.