We are the creators of our children’s childhood. Make it personal with your own family rituals. “A child with a strong sense of ‘we’ starts to develop a strong sense of ‘I.’ ” —Kim John Payne, Simplicity Parenting

Trust me, I hear stories daily of adults who were scared of their parents or fed a diet of shame. I can promise you that this is not the recipe for self-esteem.

So I came up with Family Talking Teasers. Now we ask things like: ‘If you were parent for a day, what rules would you make?’ Or ‘If you could wake up in any country tomorrow, what would it be and why?’ Or ‘What’s your idea of heaven on earth?’ ”

When a mother or father trash talks their spouse or ex, the child is forced to defend the other parent. Try not to let home feel like a competition in which a child has to pick sides. Don’t discuss your relationship woes with your kids. Remember that our biggest task as parents is to build secure attachments, not competing ones. You don’t need to b

Your children and your children’s children will thank you. CHAPTER TEN Out of the Mouths of Babes Ask the young.

“Our children are our guests for eighteen years. We have to treat our guests with the utmost respect.” —Jackie, mom of three

Remember, childhood’s greatest legacy is how we felt loved.

was always very conscious of the routines in my home. After a while, routine becomes ritual.” —Elizabeth, mother of three And the ordinary becomes sacred. If home is remembered as solid ground, people can reach further and withstand greater challenges. Family traditions lay down roots. The deeper the roots, the higher the tree can grow toward the l

Emotionally wimpy parenting leads to emotionally fragile kids.