You have to actually like people, be present, and set down whatever stands between you and vibrant, pulsing reality. It's a lot more like practicing how to free fall than learning how to act in a movie.

The most charismatic people I know, who seem to have this radiant, magnetic quality to their presence, are actually those who actively invite you to things with your best interests in mind but are totally okay with you declining, and they really mean it.

It feels like they are just having fun, lightly playing with possibilities. They are not holding love hostage when you don't act in accordance with their desires. They respect your autonomy and intuition. They approach your presence with gratitude, but don't demand you stay forever. There is no hint of scarcity. They live in the realm of what is... See more

the most likable, charismatic, enjoyable people to be around are people who demand nothing of you.

Charismatic people are like empty vessels. They receive and pass on sensations without resistance. They are usually the one with the most regulated nervous system in the room, which allows them to encounter other people's ego/attentional structures and dance with them no matter what the exact configuration is, which is why charismatic people are... See more

This impression of sticky traces is very personal so I should probably illustrate what I mean with examples: I get the sticky traces when people guilt me, are passive aggressive, pedestalize me, ask things of me I don't believe are what they truly want and if I gave it to them anyway it's like feeding a hungry ghost. Every interaction with them... See more

Interacting with highly charismatic people gives you a high because of the intensity of being seen (and it's rare to encounter people who can really see you because most people have too much going on in their heads). This altered state makes it hard to tell in the moment whether this person is good for you or not, and this can be even more... See more