We move to tell each other what’s in our souls, to say what words can’t. We are touching each other in an attempt to listen.

You wonder how each moment bled into the next and created the days, months, and years that now all feel like seconds? That’s how I feel. Right now. In this moment. It feels like our entire past together spans eons and the time I’ve spent without him is an insignificant little flash. I have loved Jesse since the day I saw him at that swim meet.

“I don’t think I can be with you,” I say. “I don’t think . . . I don’t think we’re right for each other. Anymore.”

It’s like someone cracked me in half and found the rotten cancer in the deepest, most hidden part of my body. I don’t say anything back. I don’t look up. I watch as a tear falls from my face and lands right in my mug. And even though I was the one who cried it out, and I saw it fall, I have no idea what it means. I look up. “I think you’re probably

Where we reunited and broke our own hearts. And walked away in two pieces.

My dreams, the rope and the knots, I know exactly what they mean. You don’t tie yourself to something unless you’re scared you might float away.

I look at him,

don’t think you’re trying to figure out if you love Sam more or Jesse more. I think you’re trying to figure out if you want to be the person you are with Jesse or you want to be the person you are with Sam.”

“But the problem isn’t who you love or if you love both, I don’t think. I think the problem is that you aren’t sure who you are. You’re a different person now than you were before you lost Jesse. It changed you, fundamentally.”