on trading potential for something actual

Commitments become easier when you realize that, after enough wandering, the grass is unlikely to be greener, pursuing novelty has diminishing returns, and continuous optimizing comes at the cost of compounding—and nearly everything great compounds

The commitment connects you to the future when you must take the action. The action connects you to the past when you made the commitment. You will begin to experience past, present, and future as part of one continuum. It is impossible to grant time its proper respect without this sense of flowing continuity. Without it, life is a meaningless seri

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That’s what commitments are—alternatives to self-obsession. Commitments free us to dedicate ourselves to something bigger than ourselves—to something beyond our shells. The French philosopher Jacques Maritain said that the meaning of life is “self-mastery for the purpose of self-giving.” This is the challenge of growing up—to turn the corner from s... See more

In other words: the value of commitment is that you get something tangible in exchange for it. By making a choice, you get something Real. Whereas stewing in your potential and refusing to transform it into something Actual leaves you living more in your head—weighing and considering and thinking about all of the things you could be doing, but not ... See more

What accounts for this hesitation? Why do we love committers but act like browsers? I think it’s because of three fears. First, we have a fear of regret: we worry that if we commit to something, we will later regret having not committed to something else. Second, we have a fear of association: we think that if we commit to something, we will be vul... See more