updated 3d ago
No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame
3. Coupled with acknowledgement of our child’s point-of-view and feelings (no matter how unreasonable they might seem).
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
5. A genuine expression of our personal limits.
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
Say yes to feelings. Always. Children need freedom to express their deepest, darkest, oddest, most outrageous or inappropriate-seeming feelings. Emotions are deeply connected to “self,” so from infancy onwards our children need to know we will patiently hear and accept all their feelings and try our best to understand them. The challenge is not to
... See morefrom No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
Toddlers have tantrums because they reach a tipping point and need to release intense emotions that are way beyond their control. The child who falls to the floor and bangs his head in anger, rage, or frustration needs a calm, understanding parent to allow him to express these feelings fully — not punish him, or even “comfort” him, to make this out
... See morefrom No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
2. Stated kindly and confidently (rather than as a threat), and then we let go and move on.
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
reflect verbally (“You were upset about not getting another cracker.”), but don’t get upset or discouraged when your child has an emotional reaction to your limits.
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
Children sense it when the leaders they count on have lost control, and that makes them feel less safe and too powerful. Punishments create fear, resentment, and distrust. Alternatively, our reluctance to set a definitive boundary also causes discomfort, insecurity, and more testing. Our vulnerability creates guilt.
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
have the courage to allow feelings to run their full course without trying to calm, rush, fix, shush, or talk my child out of them. I might say, “You have some very strong feelings about that,” rather than yelling, “Enough!”
from No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago
the more we welcome our children’s displeasure, the happier everyone in our household will be. There is no greater gift to our children and ourselves than complete acceptance of their negative feelings. (Notice, I did not say “behaviors”.) By deleting from our parenting job description the responsibilities to ‘soothe’, ‘correct’, and ‘control’ our
... See morefrom No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
Justin Reidy added 5mo ago