I frequently hear bosses, co-workers, and others say to a person in this kind of denial, “You need to begin getting your reports in on time so we can move forward and hit our deadlines.” Then they say to me, “I told him he needs to do it, but he still doesn’t.” I usually say it is not true that he needs to do it. “Apparently he does not need to at

Who are your change agents, either for yourself or your company, for the endings that you need to make happen?

it—it sometimes creates problems if we are not in touch with reality. In that case, it is hope that keeps us going down a road that has no realistic chance of being the right road or making what we want come to pass. In a false reality, hope is the worst quality you can have!

What reason, other than the fact that I want this to work, do I have for believing that tomorrow is going to be different from today?

It is often irrational to listen to a seemingly good idea from a proven nonperformer. He may sound good, but his record may prove otherwise. If that is the case, we will stop listening to his thoughts.”

With these kinds of people, the only time they get it is when it begins to cost them. That is the only time they feel any need to listen and change. It is exactly why a necessary ending is often the right thing to do.

They have realized that their success depends on having the time and energy resources to go deep with a few relationships, and they have to end the wish to go deep with everyone, as it leads to skimming the surface with almost everyone.

And one of the reasons was that the ones who could change it were too isolated from the pain of it all.

Events are processed in predictable, negative ways: first, as personalized (I am a bad salesperson); second, as pervasive (everything I do, or every aspect of the business, is bad); and third, as permanent (nothing is going to change).