Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection

Is it possible to act compassionately if our attention is on ourselves?

When we shift our attention to the reality around us, to our spouse, our car, the service station attendant, we see countless opportunities to care for others. But those who are most preoccupied with themselves suffer the most. They also fail to experience the satisfaction of attending to the needs of another.

“Usually thinking is rather self-centered. In our everyday life our thinking is ninety-nine percent self-centered: Why do I have suffering? Why do I have trouble?” SHUNRYU SUZUKI ROSHI

we can repeatedly observe the mechanics of a mind that is rarely satisfied with what it has at the moment because it is always yearning for some manufactured ideal.

We can open our eyes. We can begin asking a different question. Instead of the question “How can others be of use to me?” we can ask, “How can I be of use to others?”

I was surprised by how often my attention is on myself, my feelings, thoughts, and ideas, rather than the world around me. I was surprised at how my attention shaped, actually became, my experience.

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced.

The qualities of outward attention and compassion are so intermingled that it is difficult to imagine a person possessing the latter quality without the former.

We can witness eyes that scan reality for what they want, failing to see what they are being offered.