Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection

The qualities of outward attention and compassion are so intermingled that it is difficult to imagine a person possessing the latter quality without the former.

Accept your fear, anxiety, and concerns about this gift and consummate your marriage anyway. Your worries have no real power over you. Like the clouds in the sky, they come and go but they do not prevent the grass from growing.”

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced.

We can witness eyes that scan reality for what they want, failing to see what they are being offered.

Each moment we say thanks is a shift in our attention. A shift away from our self-centeredness toward others. A shift away from our problems and difficulties toward the support we are receiving from the world. Our attention is our life. Shifting our attention opens us to reality and reveals what has been there all along: socks.

When we shift our attention to the reality around us, to our spouse, our car, the service station attendant, we see countless opportunities to care for others. But those who are most preoccupied with themselves suffer the most. They also fail to experience the satisfaction of attending to the needs of another.

The recent addition of a thank-you log on my refrigerator door helps compensate for my poor memory.

We notice the obstacles because we have to get around them to proceed. But what if we go through life only noticing obstacles, problems, and difficulties?

Over the years she has trained her mind to focus on the gap between her ideal of the world and her reality.