Evan said the ditch looks like this: If there’s a ton of initial chemistry, it’s hard to develop a realistic picture of the person, and if the guy turns out to be unkind, or selfish, or unreliable, it’s hard to let go because you’re already hooked. But if you get involved with a guy who started out as a friend, as soon as you hit that inevitable ob

Marriage isn’t a constant passion-fest; it’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane nonprofit business. And that, they say, can be really, really nice. Having a solid, like-minded teammate in life is pleasurable in its own way, and for most people, it’s certainly better than not having one at all.

relationship, outline specific objectives on various dimensions (family, fiscal, leisure, career), generate his and her job descriptions, and decide on compensation and benefits. A

I would say even if he’s not the love of your life, make sure he’s someone you respect intellectually, makes you laugh, appreciates you … I bet there are plenty of these men in the older, overweight, and bald category (which they all eventually become anyway).

“We realize there are going to have to be adjustments and you’ll have to be flexible, but not on the basic things—career, children, where you want to live. It’s seeing the bigger picture.

The funny thing is, most of us aren’t single because of how we look or what we weigh, our level of education or job description, or whether we asked the guy out first or waited three days to return his call. We’re single because we have this underlying belief that we need to be completely in synch with our mates, and if we’re not, we should find so

The good enough marriages were good enough for the kids, because kids don’t care if their parents are being self-actualized. They had stability and ready access to both parents, and they were happy. The fact that their parents were having an existential crisis didn’t matter to them.” In adulthood, though, these kids from good enough marriage famili

it’s not whether you argue—its how you get through the arguments. And the more practice you have getting through those arguments gracefully, she told me, the less you’ll argue

The longer you wait, the less likely you are to find someone better than you’ve already met.