I would say even if he’s not the love of your life, make sure he’s someone you respect intellectually, makes you laugh, appreciates you … I bet there are plenty of these men in the older, overweight, and bald category (which they all eventually become anyway).

if someone has a lot of things on your list, but your gut is telling you, ‘I don’t trust this person,’ that’s more important than the list.”

“What we don’t realize is that the very option of being allowed to change our minds seems to increase the chances that we will change our minds. When we can change our minds about decisions, we are less satisfied with them.”

Long-term compatibility is about respect and common values and building something, not about judgment of imperfections.”

“Marriage is like running a business in a lot of ways—who cooks dinner, who picks up the towels, who pays the bills, what is the budget we’re working with—and two businesspeople would never start a business without knowing who’s going to do this, who’s going to do that, what the timeline is for certain goals.

knew that marriage involved failing health, aging, boredom, periods of stress and disconnection, annoying habits, issues with children, and hardships and misunderstandings of all sorts. But many women today seem to be looking for an idealized spiritual union instead of a realistic marital partnership.

The longer you wait, the less likely you are to find someone better than you’ve already met.

Marriage is about small acts of kindness that bond you over a lifetime. It’s quietly romantic. He makes her tea. She goes to the doctor appointment with him. They listen to each other’s daily trivia. They put up with each other’s quirks. They’re there for each other.

where on your list do you rank selflessness and humility