Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself

to change in my daughter was, in fact, something that needed to be addressed within myself.

When we insulate ourselves and our children from challenge and loss, we cease to grow.

the return, we will take a closer look at the psychological treasures to which we can hopefully lay claim when we resurface, including mature spirituality, renewed creativity, and an abiding sense of inner authority.

Even without these, however, life initiates us. An initiatory life event is that which cracks us open, shakes us out of our familiar tread, and challenges us to reconsolidate a sense of ourselves along new, more expansive lines.

Like Demeter, Monica had some grieving to do before fertile possibility could awaken again for her. She had to grieve the fantasied future she had imagined for Lily and accept the daughter she had.

Only by allowing ourselves to feel our sadness can we reawaken to the new possibilities and pleasures offered by the next stage of our lives.

We may gestate our children in our womb, knitting up their form and nourishing them with our blood, but they never really belong to us.

Questions for Reflection for Losing Control 1.So much about mothering means adapting to a loss of control. Where in your life have you lost control as a result of being a mother? How have you responded to this? 2.Both of the stories featured in this chapter begin with the parents’ heartbreak and longing over not having children. What have you yearn

In many cultures, there are goddesses who are the spinners and weavers of fate.