The truth is that motherhood is as beautiful as it looks on the congratulations cards, but it can also be a mess. It’s important to be honest about this. No real change is possible until working mothers stop trying to be all things to all people—perfect at work, perfect as partners, and perfect as mothers, with each role kept entirely separate.

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I’m a criminal-defense lawyer, a law professor, and a mother of two. When my children were young and I was offered professional opportunities that separated me from them—a case hundreds of miles from home, an academic presentation out of state—I took them. The work gave shape and purpose to my life. And yet. Because time is finite, deficits added

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Our culture is really doing a ten out of ten job in caring in the worst possible ways. There is no infrastructure to support parents of caregivers, so care makes you poor and exhausts you. (Solution: Pay caregivers! Universal and affordable childcare and eldercare!) Parenting has become more instrumental than it used to be: kids are a project,... See more

On the Myth of Motherhood as Self-Improvement

And why I care as someone who has no kids and no desire to have kids

Ines Bellina

Jun 20, 2024

I often warn people I’ve just met that they’re free to follow me on Instagram but cannot hold my Stories against me. “It’s where my Id lives,” I explain. “You have to promise to keep liking me even after... See more