“A well-differentiated leader is someone who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes . . . someone who can separate while still remaining connected . . . who can maintain a modifying, non-anxious, and sometimes challenging presence . . . who can manage

“All objects resist changes in their state of motion—they tend to keep doing what they’re doing . . . unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”

A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix.

Noxious Nellie and Norman to describe particularly caustic personalities that may be part of the trouble in deeply conflicted congregations.

under stress, we regress. And it affects all of us—whether we realize it or not.

closed power systems exist by permission of the rest of the congregation.

“Conflict happens when two pieces of matter try to occupy the same space at the same time.”

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It is an illusion to think that a person can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.