Mindfulness is the Opposite of Neediness

The goal is not to be better and better. The goal, every day, is to simply feel where you are and accept it. What is happiness, after all? Happiness is enjoying yourself as you are right now and connecting to other people as they are . That’s it. You don’t have to change anything. You don’t have to win anyone over. You just have to savor this day.

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The long answer: when you notice you are stuck in your mind, pause, step back, and thank your mind for its service. Thank your mind for all of its thoughts, suggestions, concerns. Remind it how smart and clever and valuable it is. And I mean this: literally say these things to your mind and feel them fully. Feel the appreciation and affection you h... See more

For all its chilled-out associations, the attempt to be here now is therefore still another instrumentalist attempt to use the present moment purely as a means to an end, in an effort to feel in control of your unfolding time. As usual, it doesn’t work. The self-consciousness you experience when you seek too effortfully to be “more in the moment” i... See more