Now, she found she could look for gaps throughout the day, times that could be used to transform her thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

Usually, in daily life, we are motivated to do something, then we do it. But when mood is low, we have to do something before the motivation comes.

alarm signals start to be triggered not only by the current scare, but by past threats and future worries. This happens in an instant, before

helps you sense the need for time to nourish your soul and gives you the space and courage to do so. It also helps you deal more skilfully with those unavoidable aspects of life that can drain away your energy and innate happiness.

You learned that the Doing mode of mind is not a mistake, nor is it an enemy to get rid of. It only becomes problematic when it volunteers for a job it can’t do, then refuses to let go, so that you go on working at a problem or a project long after you are too tired to make any sensible progress.

This bullying script may once have helped them get what they wanted in life, but now it simply exhausts them.

The story of the king holds an important lesson: it’s often far easier and more effective in the long run to live with our difficulties than to pour resources into battling and suppressing them.

Kindness transforms things: the ‘aversion’ pathways in the mind are switched off and the ‘approach’ ones switched on instead. This change in attitude enhances openness, creativity and happiness, while at the same time dissolving the fears, guilts, anxieties and stresses that lead to exhaustion and chronic discontent.

If you do something in a negative or critical way, if you over-think or worry or carry out a task through gritted teeth, then you will activate your mind’s aversion system. This will narrow the focus of your life. You will become like a mouse with an owl complex: more anxious, less flexible, less creative. If, however, you do exactly the same thing