Change the story and you change perception; change perception and you change the world. JEAN HOUSTON

A Word about Wise Speech Habits of harm are often expressed in our speech. Sometimes our speech, to our surprise and often embarrassment, can tell us what we are really thinking. My mother kept my brother’s parrot for several months. I recall visiting her one day, and the parrot began to mimic her one-sided conversation on a recent phone call—her

friend whom I truly loved (recognize) and the memories of times we shared filled my body with joy (allow). I rested in that recollection for a few moments (allow/nurture). When I opened my eyes, my mood had shifted, and I could reflect on the day (investigate) through a kinder lens (nurture). Kindness altered the perception, which then supported

“But when I look at you, I don’t see race.” As an African American woman, this well-meaning comment from the lens of the white individual renders my experience as a racial group member invisible, my history whitewashed, and my people at continued risk. It’s an innocence I can’t afford to have. When whites don’t see race when they look at me, they

3. SEEK UNDERSTANDING Seeking understanding interrupts projections and cultivates empathy. You seek understanding by asking questions—one at a time—and then being quiet. When seeking understanding, slow down, check in, and breathe, as this supports stability and presence. Avoid interrupting when the other person is speaking. Be open to softening your

It was in such moments that I began to have a true kinship with the subtle nature of metta and to discern that the deeper impulse to smile at white people—and all people—was older than my cover story. It was more like the innate gift of a singing bird or smiling baby. It was my true nature—that flowing stream we open to when we are open to it.

We can strike back, or we can pause and tune into the suffering that is being displayed.

However, privilege is the water that dominance swims in, and it is impossible to understand it when we look solely from the lens of an individual.

White privilege is having the choice to be white or not, to claim membership in a white group identity or not, to be aware of race or not, and to talk about race or not—all without consequence.