Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.

lived. The evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher says that the hormonal cocktail of romance (dopamine, norepineprine, and PEA) is known to last no more than a few years at best. Oxytocin, the cuddling hormone, outlasts them all.

lived. The evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher says that the hormonal cocktail of romance (dopamine, norepineprine, and PEA) is known to last no more than a few years at best. Oxytocin, the cuddling hormone, outlasts them all.

the tension between security and adventure is a paradox to manage, not a problem to solve.

probably don’t let your wife evoke such tremors in you. There’s an evolutionary anthropologist named Helen Fisher who explains that lust is metabolically expensive. It’s hard to sustain after the evolutionary payoff: the kids. You become so focused on the incessant demands of daily life that you short-circuit any electric charge between you.

Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.

What makes sustaining desire over time so difficult is that it requires reconciling two opposing forces: freedom and commitment.

Even more important, he was choosing her again, and it’s the act of choosing, the freedom involved in choosing, that keeps a relationship alive.

It is so complete—and our need to feel safe is so profound—that we will do anything not to lose them.