The paradox here is that one cannot actually plan for optimal sexual experiences. One can, however, create the conditions in which magic might occur. Or as another woman worded it, “Having found great sex, it has become so important to me that, I’m clearer now about the, the lengths I’m willing to go to, to get it.”

The Components are Universal – the Particulars are Unique So what kind of special treat do you crave right now?

7. Exploration, Interpersonal Risk-Taking and Fun Many said that magnificent sex often involves taking risks and exploring.

In the recruitment blurbs, we sought out individuals who self-identified as having “great”, “remarkable”, “wonderful” and “memorable” sex.

In fact, a few authors have suggested that sexual satisfaction improves with the age and length of the relationship (e.g., Schnarch, 1991; Shaw, 2012; Zilbergeld, 2004). To this end, we interviewed 30 older men and women, ranging in age from 60 to 82 years (with an average age of 65.8 years old).

Great Sex Involves “Date Night” Prepwork – Roses, Candles, Lingerie versus Tailor Preparation to the Needs of the Individuals and the Kinds of Sex They Anticipate

Unlearning For many, the first steps along the path towards optimal sexual experiences involved unlearning much of what they previously thought they knew about sex and sexuality.

One of the first surprising findings was the universality of the components across different groups – men and women, young and old, LGBTQ and straight, monogamous and consensually non-monogamous, kinky and “vanilla” (that is, non-kinky).

5. Being Genuine, Authentic, Transparent Having the opportunity to be completely, genuinely and honestly themselves is, for many, the hallmark of a magnificent sexual experience. People described the freedom to be uninhibited and unselfconscious, sharing their private desires, interests or fantasies within a context of complete trust and acceptance.