Mad Wife

Throughout the more than ten years during which my husband convinced me that his needs were sacrosanct and mine were irrational and excessive, I felt no anger at all. I could not see his contribution to the disaster

Deep down, where I couldn’t bear to face it, I was fucking furious.

But it trains women to erase ourselves altogether by teaching us that we owe more than the external things owed by men—money, labor, houses. Women owe all our intimacy—our care and emotional investment, the insides of our bodies.

I was taught my whole life by my parents, his parents, teachers, and most of what I read and viewed that it is my job to take care of men, to submit to them, to do the work required to sustain every relationship, and to sacrifice everything, including myself, to do that work. I am angry that I was trained to expect so little from him and to be so e

I am angry that my husband traded my self-worth for his pleasure and validation.